Here are the lyrics to Tom Lehrer's 1965 song "The Vatican Rag". I'm trying to do an Alex Cockburn (isn't that surname hilarious?) and Castro version.

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional.
There the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.
If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman;
Ave Maria,
Gee, it's good to see ya.
Gettin' ecstatic an' sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican
Rag!

How about:

First you get down on your knees,
Give Fidel a hug and squeeze
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

If your name is Alex Cockburn
And your brain is like a glowworm's
Then you're gonna wanna write
Odes to Fidel every night
Doin' the Digital Rag

Don't you worry 'bout those gulags
Hit the beach to cure your jet lag
Then go down to Old Havana where
Teenage hookers cost a dollar there
You can have a life that's nice
Praise the Cuban paradise
C - U - B - A
Even Alex can get laid!

So get down upon your knees,
Forget corruption, drugs, and sleaze
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Write that Fidel Castro's glorious
Don't dare ask what the real story is
Viva Che Guevara
Libre mi bandera
Ethically I'm midgetal
Sexually I'm Gidgetal
Doin' the Digital Rag!